No longer the Apple of my eye

Back in 2006 I took the plunge and dumped my PC to become an Apple Fan Boy. Much to the chagrin of friends and family I took the not inexpensive jump to the colourful side. To be fair it was all really easy. Things “just worked”. Slowly I migrated everything I did and had done over the preceeding years to a shiny new universe. All was well and when the time came to upgrade my iPhone I duly did. Always an early adopter; when iPad appeared so did I at the Apple store. I’m now on MacBook Pro number 2 and iPad number 2 and iPhone number 4 (actually it’s a 5 but let’s not confuse things).

I use the MBP for everything from email, surfing, image manipulation and creation, music editing, voiceovers, music playback at gigs and much more. It’s all religiously backed up to a Time Capsule and on the Cloud so all should be good. And all was until….



I had no problem with Mountain Lion but as an early adopter it seemed the right thing to do to upgrade immediately it became available. It downloaded and installed fine but then the trouble started. It was slow, like really slow. I assumed it was indexing and left it for a couple of hours. Then another. Then another. 3 days later it stopped indexing and I was impressed with the new features. Then bummer. Time Capsule complained that it couldn’t back up over the old backups and had to create a new backup. OK then, do it. So it did. For 6 days…… Yes, 6 days.

For a day or so it was great, everything performed as expected then the l a g g i n g started. Boy was it

s    l   o   w


I checked the Apple forums. People were screaming blue murder, the Apple universe was slowing down for lots of folks. Of course not all, the smarmy gits were flying faster than they had ever done. Swines.

As I had Apple Care I called and a nice lady helped me clear my cache and reboot my PRAM. I didn’t even know I had a pram so that was a nice surprise. Anyhow all seemed to be good for a wee while then a day or so later it

s  l  o  w  e  d         d  o  w  n         a  g  a  i  n.

To the forums and it became apparent that 4Mb was SO last year, it had to be 8Mb. Ordered, arrived, installed and up and running again at speed. Phew.

2 days later – grinding halt again


Now anyone who knows me knows it take a LOT to get my back up but by this point I’m well pissed off. So onto the Applecare folks I go again and instead of calling I opt for the chat facility, less opportunity to sully my reputation by using inappropriate language on a call. Much better to type then reflect on what i’ve said, right? Hmmm

“OK we’ll soon have you up and running” says Genius in far off land. “Oh will we” thinks cynic in Scotland. Do this, do that, do this and what’s it doing. “Hee haw” says I. “Oh” says Genius. Genius consults fellow Genius. I now have 2 Genuii (cos that’s the plural of genius) on my case. “It shouldn’t be doing that” says Genius number 2. “No shit” says I. “Oh, I’m not sure where we go from here” says Genuis number 1. I can think of a few places it could go at this moment in time….


Meantime my Permissions have now been Verified and Repaired as has the Disk so Genius 1 or 2 (I’m now past caring) tells me to restart the computer. I do so and everything is as slow as it was in the first place.

I’ve now lost the will to live

To be continued when I emerge from my coma